[Reserved] Directions composition and scoring Detailed sample text (reproduced) _ shadow of the moon WIND.

Original address: Directions and Scoring Criteria Writing Sample Detailed text (reproduced) by: Zhang Hongbing Yu Cheng Zhu Taiqi Directions Here is a large and small essay writing sample text and detailed several criteria, students can refer to, for their own .Evaluation of an essay to do something! .<wbr> <wbr /> Pham Van Tai composition fifth gear 19 points As illustrated in the cartoon, each person sits in their own workroom. In front of them is a computer. Everyone looks at the screencarefully, and communicate with their colleagues through the .netinstead of talking face to face. Their work places are placed likea net. And below the cartoon, there is a topic which says: the nearand far among the Internet.From the cartoon, we can conclude that the cartoonist wants toconvey such a message: .with the popularity of computers, peoplefrom all over the world become nearer by using the internet tocommunicate with each other. Meanwhile, people also become far awayfrom their friends. All of us accept the fact that the developmentof the internet brings lots of conveniences to our daily .life, forinstance, we can buy a book on the net instead of going to abookstore. Besides, we can communicate with our friends on the netwithout going out of home. But we can't ignore the other side ofthese: the time we spend with .friends or family becomes less. Andwe hardly see them once in a week. It will make us feel lonely ifwe continue to use the tool on the net to talk with friends insteadof talking with them on the phone or going out with them.To my best .understanding, we should use the net to communicate witheach other in a proper way. It is just a tool when we really needit to serve us. If we want to keep our friendship more effectively, we should spend more time with them in our real life .. Only in thisway can we not only make full use of the communication tool on thenet but also make our friendship stronger. Comment: This article provides a good task to complete the exam, content integrity, not only clearly describes the content and pointed out the comic book .its implied meaning. .Verbal fluency, language accuracy, sentence structure changes, the effective use of the connection means, the contents of a coherent, structured, easy to understand article, only the individual language errors, number of words to meet the requirements. .Pham Van fourth tranche of 15 As is vividly depicted in the drawing above, we can see clearlythat some people are very near by the computer while some peopleare much long with each other in the net world.What is conveyed in the picture is most thought- .provoking and worthdiscussing among people, especially the young people. It is amirror, reflecting the relationships between the people arealtering by the Internet. People's opinions differ greatly on thismatter. Some people believe that the Internet is very convenientfor people who are living in a longer distance .to keep connectionwith each other. Others argue that the Internet make the peopleliving in near areas meet very little. Still others hold thatpeople's facing to face to communicate is reducing to a lowlevel.It struck me that if nothing is done to solve the socialphenomenon, its .effect will be soon shown, which inevitably affectsthe development of the harmonious society. So we should regard thetrend rightly. We also should take it into our accounts strictly.We should use the Net more reasonably. On no account should we makethe people longer by the .computer. Only in this way can we have agood generation foreseen. And a more harmonious society can bebuilt up. reviews: article better the mandate to complete the exam, content more comprehensive description of the comic has not only reveals the hidden meaning of ., the use of a relatively rich sentence structure and word, using a certain connection means, the basic fluent language, the article structural integrity, the level of clear and easy to understand, but there are a number of language errors. .<wbr> <wbr /> third tranche of the Pham Van 11 points As the picture vividly depict that internet like a net connectdifferent people in the world. You can communicate with yourfriends. No matter where they live in, the distance no longer anobstacle in our communication .. The picture reflect a thought-provoking social phenomenon thatpeople in a mounting numbers use internet shopping, work, study andchatting with friends in order to meet each other face and face.There are somewhat reasonable, but you weighing in mind, you canfind that distance .between our spirit longer than before. On theInternet we can not know each other very well, because some peopledon't use their real name, even tell lies on internet. On theconterary, if we meet each other face and face, it's better forcommunication. .Internet make the obstacle of distance vanished, benefit us a lot, we can chating with our friends who live in a city that far fromus. However, we should take that serious internet make the distanceof our spirit longer than before, internet is a double- .edgesword. Comment: This article contains most of the content elements; grammatical structures and vocabulary essential to meet mission requirements; have some serious grammar and word mistakes, but not understand; content more consistent, clearer hierarchy. .But the third part is the second part of the summary of comments simple. .Pham Van <wbr> <wbr /> second gear 7 points As can be seen from the picture, many people are sitting in thefront of a computers, who are basing in typing on the keyboard, butthey don't immediate communicate with each other though .they livenear. It looks like a bit pot, everyone has its space, and thecomputer is necessary for them.It goes without saying that this picture aims at reavling a commonphenomenon in our daily life, that is internet brings conviences tous, also brings the distance .for each other. Nowadays, we mustbelieve that our development can not leave the using of internet.We do any things through the computer instead of saying "hello" toour families or colleagues face to face.In my opinion, we must realize the importance of .the internet andalso pay more attentions to communicate with each other face toface. Do not make the computer make a distant between us. Comment: The subject was missing key points, comments not appropriate, multi-language errors, and some expression of the sentences is not clear, not words .. .the first tranche of Pham Van <wbr> <wbr /> 3 Largely through the influence of many people from different pointsof the world. The old, the young and the student, they use thecomputers to constant with another body.Some people use computer to leare .new knowledge, such as thestudents. Some people use the computer to help them to completetheir work. Such as the tank workers. While some people use thecomputer to play games. For example, some old person like to playgame on computer.Many people on computer .is on Monday to Friday. But the playerpeople is everyday more or less. So the world is like a family.Since the computer with us is to enable our to share in a commonlife we cannot help considering whether or not we are forming thepowers of the .life's happy. Comment: The main content of the text was missing, the views expressed do not reflect the needs; syntax error with a lot of words, impede understanding of the use of language is poor; words is not enough. .<wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> small writing <wbr> <wbr /> five-speed, 9 points Dear editor, I'm a sincere reader of your newspaper and I like your discussionof the social problems. Now .I want to give some opinions of myselfabout the "White Pollution" As we know, regulation was made to solve the problem in June 1st of2008. The use of plastic bags was restricted in the supermarket andmany other shops freely. At the beginning, it was .carried on well, but now I found plastic bags were used in some small shops for freeor with no pay.I am writing to tell you that we should solve this problem soonwith the help of your newspaper. You could make some investigatorsabout it and write some .reports of it, so as to appeal to all thepeople's attentions of our society. <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr / .> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> .<wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> < .wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr .> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> .<wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> < .wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr ./> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr / .> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> .<wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> < .wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr .> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> .<wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> < .wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr ./> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr / .> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> .<wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> <wbr> <wbr /> Sincerely ., Li Ming this a good mandate to complete the exam, complete with the target audience had the desired effect: 1. .Contains all of the contents of the main points of the contents of the first paragraph of this paper is more consistent with the requirements of title. .2. .The use of grammatical structures and vocabulary than the rich. .3. .Language is more natural and smooth, despite the syntax of the individual (eg, tense) and word error. .4. .Effective use of a variety of cohesive devices, clear layer, the organization is relatively tight. .5. .Appropriate format and language appropriate to the domain. .<wbr> <wbr /> fourth gear ,7-8 pm Dear Editor Wang, I am a senior student living in Beijing. Being a citizen in ourcapital, I care a lot about our environment. But, although the lawof not using plastic bags .had been enforced since June, the effectis not very good. I am afraid 'White Pollution "will still existfor a long time.I believe there are ways to improve the situation. Our communitiescould offer bags free, which will substitute plastic bags.Meanwhile, .some education on environment and White pollution shouldbe held to local people. Besides the above two, much more can bedone. I hope you would consider it carefully.Yours trulyLi Ming <wbr> <wbr /> well fulfilled the mandate of the questions ., the basic target audience can produce the desired effect: 1. contains all the content elements, not only outlined their views, but also made specific recommendations. 2. The use of sentence structure and vocabulary is relatively abundant, such as: .Being a citizen in ... ..., Icare ... ... and so on. 3. Language basic right, of course, there are some grammatical errors and word errors, but will not seriously affect the meaning of the expression. 4. with the appropriate cohesive devices, .For example, but, meanwhile, besides other, the level is relatively clear. 5. more appropriate format and language domains. <wbr> <wbr /> third gear ,5-6 pm To whom it may concern: As a student of a university, .I want to take this opportunity toexpress some points about "White Pollution". There is no denying that plastic is destroy our environment is weuse it excessively. So the government take some means to deal withit. Restrict to use the plastic bags in whole country. .But itdidn't get successful as we predict. The "White Pollution" is stillaround our environment in some regions.Takes measures is needed. I want to take some recommends. First andformost, more strength restriction is needed by pollutioneducation. Second, media should .spread more information concern.Only in this way can we curb the statement. I'm looking forwardyour reply.Sincerely yoursLiming questions basically completed its mandate, the goal of basic readers produced the desired effect: 1. Contents include the requested item .two points, not beside the point. 2. with more words and grammar errors, but the general reader can still understand the meaning of the expression you want. 3. by means of some simple interface, the content fairly consistent, the level can be considered .clear. 4. format and language domain is reasonable. <wbr> <wbr /> second gear, 3-4 I am very sorry to trouble with you. But this is a problem annoyingwith me. It is White Pollution. With the economic .growth widely, white pollution become more and more serious. It is harmoniousbetween the men and nature. White pollution destroy some special.More and more similar issue can be read today in newspaper as wellas in magazine.The problem can be solved in some ways. .First, attitude iseverything. We must make people aware of this issue. Second, wemust change with ourself. It's essential that we address ourproblem before looking to others change. Finally, the acts ofpollution must be punishment.I 'm looking forward to your reply .! Yours sincerelyLi Ming <wbr> <wbr /> not required to complete item in accordance with the mandate, can not clearly communicate information to readers. 1. stray too far from the contents of the first paragraph, failure to express well the first title .content points. 2. too many mistakes in grammar and words that lack of knowledge of basic English grammar or the ability to use grammar. 3. Although a number of cohesive devices used, but the content lacks coherence. 4. Format and language .domain is not appropriate. For example, this letter does not rise. <wbr> <wbr /> 1-2 minutes of a file Dear the editorI'm pleasure to write the letter to you. With the development ofthe socity, white pollution is more and more .bad. Our sky is notblue, our earth is not clean and our river is not fish.To solve this question, I have some suggestions. First, every onedrive their car less a day in a week than before. Second, when weare shopping, .we use environment plastic bags. Third, ourgovernment do some rules. Do you thing my opinion? Look forwardyour reply.Yours faithfully, Li Ming outstanding questions mandate, can not carry a message to readers: 1. basically irrelevant content of the article, there are .a lot of irrelevant content. 2. of do not have the basic knowledge of English grammar, sentence structure is simple and incomplete. 3. words too many mistakes, I lied. <wbr> <wbr /> zero file 0 dear editor: .I am a student of Tianjing University. Recently years ourcountry the information conveyed by the language used, or too little, and no relationship between the content and requirements, can not evaluate.